Of all the hotel accommodations on Isermno, the shining gem in its crown jewels is the Royal Hotel Balaclava. For the past decade, every travel periodical worth reading has rated the hotel seven and three-quarters stars on a five-star scale; while those that rated it any less have had their journalists escorted off the island at gunpoint. A thirty-story marvel of engineering brilliance, it is one of the island's tallest buildings. Standing at 352 feet in height, if you were to lay it on its side from one end of the island to the other, you would be responsible for the deaths of hundreds. Shame on you for thinking something so horrible.